We've gotten a new server to join the pile. It'll need some work, mostly just drives and ram, but once that big guy is set up and running, I can ditch the other two completely. To do that I'll need to put in about 500 bucks worth of work, again, just parts. It's got 32gb of RAM, which is a good start, but I'll need to get it close to 90gb to be useful. On top of that until I can move my storage over to it, I can't really use it for anything as it'd be dumb to run both giant power hungry servers all the time for the one to be doing nothing. I mean i guess i could give it all the VMs that dont need the massive storage on the other one, cut it down to one PSU, and have the new one on one PSU as well. I dont know, I've got some ideas. It'll take some time but we'll get there and I'll ditch the giant old machine (or stick it on a shelf instead im sure)

 This time of year is probably my favourite and my least favourite. Getting people gifts that I think they'll like and giving them those presents is lovely, and i really wish i could do more every year, but i never can. And therein lies the dichotomy. I love to give people stuff, and I love to do things for people, but I never have the money I need to be able to do it. 

 Presents this year are going to be sparse, but we warned everyone, including the kids. They are both grown now and I can't justify spending what I used to on them any more, if only because i can't do it. I just cant. money is so dumb, and there is never enough of it. Even if i started buying things six months ago I'd still be fucked on how many things I'd rather get for everyone. As of now it'll be fairly simple, one or two small things per person. I'm focusing on cookies this year i think. those i can make and give to people and not feel guilty like i'm giving them a cop-out gift or something. 

 I love the parties and the getting together and hanging out on christmas though. So much. It helps that every year I take off the week of christmas, and sometimes that actually lines up with new years (though not this year0 so i end up getting them both off and with days to spare too since the actual holidays dont count against that. This year it didnt work out that way, but I'm happy since I didnt think I'd get to do it this year. Two coworkers are also off that week and generally the rule is no more than two off at a time, but we've got a new guy this year and my boss was trying to help me figure out where to use my remaining days, and I had exactly enough for christmas week. I'm very much looking forward to it. 

 Things around the house may actually be getting done and worked on, which is lovely. the cars are both happy for the time being, although i definitely need to get my oil changed. 

  I miss streaming and my friends. Life has it's way of getting you to places you didnt think youd be. Right now the thing ive been working on the most is tryign to get my head in order. There are too many requirements and too many responsibilities for me to keep track of most days, lists are the only way I can get anything done, and that's been working fairly well. Being the only working adult in the house makes things stickier. Hopefully in the coming year that changes, like really really hopefully soon. We aren't drowning yet. 

 Work has been work, nothing's really changed there. Mostly i try to pick up less stuff so I'm not on fire all of the time, and rely on the other people I work with to do their fair share. Mostly that works out but sometimes i sit here and wonder what tf everyone else is doing as i process the ticket queue one right after the other. Right now thats actually why i'm writing here, there are two sitting here that have been sitting here for a little bit, both fairly easy and I could have them done quickly, but then no one else gets the chance to learn something from those tickets. What does fair even mean anyway. Getting through the day is more than enough for me sometimes, and even then i start to feel like i'm not doing enough. No one has said i dont do enough, in fact most people i work with tell me i do too much but that just never feels like it's true. I feel lazy, like i dont try hard enough or something. 

 There is no goal to these rambling posts by the way. this is just what is going on in my head most of the time and it sometimes is nice to get it out of my head and onto something. We'll try again in a week or two.