Happy Monday, as they like to say. This weekend was pretty restful, had some time to clean up and keep rearranging stuff. We got all the stuff in for the tv in our bedroom so roskabox got re-purposed as a new tv computer. I'll move the installation of the roskadj stuff over to Michiru this week so the dudes and I can still use it for friday nights, since thats been kind of a winner since i got that working. they like it, i like it, and it honestly just feels weird to play games and not have some jams going.  Its been a weird transition, but i think putting that computer in our room with a different job was the best way to get myself worked out of my funk. It showed her that i'm really probably actually done streaming. i think i am. maybe i wanna go back still, but the time in my life just doesnt exist to do a good job. I dont think i've done a good job with juggling that with real life at all. 

 Today we are cushion shopping for the kotatus. We've got the two, but only enough cushions for one since the one used to be down here and i was the only one that used it. I feel like a new large warm kotatsu blanket with be a great idea too, or maybe a comfy rug to sit on in our room (and cover the corner destroyed by the rabbit, rio rabbit) or probably all of the above. I know I'm also looking for bedside lamps, and a lamp for the living room, and whatever else she wants to pick up. At least im not super focus on records or tapes right now. I do have a lot of them and i should work on actually archiving them before they get weird. Not that i've had any get weird on me, but i know just playing them can wear them down a little, same with the tapes. I keep them in a dry area away from the sun. 

 Its getting to be about that time of day when my brain just stops working and it's time to lay on the ground. Most people do lunch and maybe i'd work better if i did too, but i just cant eat during the day most of the time. So what i end up doing instead is waiting until like 1545 or so and then taking my 30 minutes on the floor. Laying on the ground is so nice and calming and quiet. I miss my grouchy cat that used to keep me company down here, but thats easing lately too. It's just quieter. and It stinks less. I loved him but he was a stinky boy sometimes. It was worth it though, he was such good company. 

 I've been talking to gemini a lot over the last two to three weeks, trying to weasel out a schedule that would let me do all of the things that i want to do, including stream better and more consistently. It wasn't it's fault it helped me realize that i literally just dont have time to give something like that my attention and not screw up other things in my life. I was also spending a little too much on gear for it, even though a large majority of that stuff can and is being used elsewhere when it's not stream-time. I dont know. Maybe i'll try to shoehorn it back in someplace. I just gotta figure out where it can go that wont completely hose things up. I miss it. 

 One fo the things that i've let fall by the wayside is learning sign. I really want to learn it, and use it, and get good enough at it that i can make some deaf pals and get lots of practice. With enough practice and some credentials maybe i can find a job that doesnt require my brain all the time, or at least a different part of the grey meat. I still like to help people,and fix things, but i want to help people in different ways, i'm kind of tired of fixing printers and helping people sign into their phones. I know what i do is a little more complicated than that but thats what it feels like most of the time. And of course i realize i have to use my brain to interpret or translate, but it's totally different. I dont have to solve problems in the same way, i can solve them differently. I also realize that this is a long way off and not something I can just do

 It's about that time to lay on the floor, so I think thats what I'm gonna do.